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Thursday, November 25, 2010

expression of feelings

assalamualaikum.

hello there,

i am not feeling good recently. current moods are ups and downs. swing here and there. i am stressful. i am restless. thank you so much wrinkles, dark circles and eye bags! i hate you.

sigh. breath in, breath out.

i am still controlling my emotions. i am afraid to over expressing myself here. but, i hope that i can release this. it's burdening me. i am head aches now. hurm.. why this is sound serious eh?

fine, i am taking this as part and parcel in my life. sometimes, i am not strong enough to go through this test alone. i dislike to write, 'alone' word.

i am trying to speak to myself. but, it's hard. well, i am confused. the devil is trying to spread the bad voice on me.oh, please.. ya Allah, help me.

ok, i am not sure how to start. but, hello i am almost in paragraph 4! urghh..

sigh. breath in, breath out.

there are 3 things now which i wish that i strong enough to face it:

1- nov and dec 2010 are fully booked. therefore, engagement will be held next year. auchh.. it's hurtful. i swear..

2- uncompleted research. it's hard i told you but i have to be strong. this is my future. i must complete it.

3- my sweetheart is busy. even, this is harder for me like something is torturing my initial strength.

i am sorry. but this are what's going on recently. i dont know how about others. how they manage to get through this difficulties. i believe that peeps out there will facing this too.

my body is weak, my mental is weak now.

i.. i.. i can stand now because i have my family, his family, my bff, my sweetheart, my supervisor and lecturers. they send me prayers, morale supports and advices.

w/out them, i cant stand at all. i need a shoulder to cry on, i need a hand to pull me up and of cause i need this space to share this expression of feelings. just ignored me cause i am still confused.

there is another thing, i tried to deny this feelings but sometimes its hard. i dislike when peeps out there keep on asking me when will i am going to marry? when? when? hurm.. before this, i was ok but recently i am sick with those sort of questions.

omg. they are easy to be ignored but i think i am quit sensitive la lately. hu2x well, it's hard (sometimes) to pretend that i is ok. somehow, i was not.

last but not least,


i hope the inspirational quote help me to be stronger.

p/s: i miss my sweetheart so much.

yours truly,

3 comments:

~ mizzAmy ~ said...

be strong ok dear. sometime mmg banyak cabaran and dugaan, but insya-Allah semuanya akan settle with smiling on ur face. sabar and please don't be tooo stress.

syazana said...

Kesayanganku..sabar banyak2.

{ Miss Syahira } said...

assalamualaikum amy,

thank you so much dear.

assalamualaikum syazana,

i need a shoulder to cry on. sometimes, it was so stressful to carry this 'alone'. fine. i dislike being 'alone'.