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Thursday, November 25, 2010

expression of feelings

assalamualaikum.

hello there,

i am not feeling good recently. current moods are ups and downs. swing here and there. i am stressful. i am restless. thank you so much wrinkles, dark circles and eye bags! i hate you.

sigh. breath in, breath out.

i am still controlling my emotions. i am afraid to over expressing myself here. but, i hope that i can release this. it's burdening me. i am head aches now. hurm.. why this is sound serious eh?

fine, i am taking this as part and parcel in my life. sometimes, i am not strong enough to go through this test alone. i dislike to write, 'alone' word.

i am trying to speak to myself. but, it's hard. well, i am confused. the devil is trying to spread the bad voice on me.oh, please.. ya Allah, help me.

ok, i am not sure how to start. but, hello i am almost in paragraph 4! urghh..

sigh. breath in, breath out.

there are 3 things now which i wish that i strong enough to face it:

1- nov and dec 2010 are fully booked. therefore, engagement will be held next year. auchh.. it's hurtful. i swear..

2- uncompleted research. it's hard i told you but i have to be strong. this is my future. i must complete it.

3- my sweetheart is busy. even, this is harder for me like something is torturing my initial strength.

i am sorry. but this are what's going on recently. i dont know how about others. how they manage to get through this difficulties. i believe that peeps out there will facing this too.

my body is weak, my mental is weak now.

i.. i.. i can stand now because i have my family, his family, my bff, my sweetheart, my supervisor and lecturers. they send me prayers, morale supports and advices.

w/out them, i cant stand at all. i need a shoulder to cry on, i need a hand to pull me up and of cause i need this space to share this expression of feelings. just ignored me cause i am still confused.

there is another thing, i tried to deny this feelings but sometimes its hard. i dislike when peeps out there keep on asking me when will i am going to marry? when? when? hurm.. before this, i was ok but recently i am sick with those sort of questions.

omg. they are easy to be ignored but i think i am quit sensitive la lately. hu2x well, it's hard (sometimes) to pretend that i is ok. somehow, i was not.

last but not least,


i hope the inspirational quote help me to be stronger.

p/s: i miss my sweetheart so much.

yours truly,

3 comments:

~ mizzAmy ~ said...

be strong ok dear. sometime mmg banyak cabaran and dugaan, but insya-Allah semuanya akan settle with smiling on ur face. sabar and please don't be tooo stress.

syazana said...

Kesayanganku..sabar banyak2.

cik syahira said...

assalamualaikum amy,

thank you so much dear.

assalamualaikum syazana,

i need a shoulder to cry on. sometimes, it was so stressful to carry this 'alone'. fine. i dislike being 'alone'.